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Razer Willis is used to being exploited. Forced to work as a model after losing a high paying marketing job, he’s close to being broke and homeless. Still, no matter how desperate his situation, he refuses to succumb to being yet another boy toy. After rejecting sex with a man who can make or break him, the incident brings back hurtful memories from his past. He buries himself in his painting attempting to find some peace. His lover and best friend is the only person who knows the secret from his past and is determined to drag him out of his personal hell. At the expense of their relationship, his best friend gives him an unusual gift. Membership into an elite club that brings men together for business and pleasure and the contract is for life. Male Order is discrete, on the up and up and screens applicants carefully.
Trenton Masters holds ugly secrets of his own. In the same position as Razer, a comforting but loveless relationship, his man gives Trenton the same gift. After Razer and Trenton are paired by the owner of Male Order, they quickly embark into a passionate relationship exploring domination and submission. Unfortunately, their damaging pasts haunt them both, terrors so intense they both fear insanity. Events force Razer and Trenton into facing reality and finally discussing their pasts. Even though they both feel betrayed, there is something else pulsing just under the surface — real love. As their respective pasts slam into their comfortable lives, can two men forgive the monsters that had dragged them into hell or lose the only means of salvation? Are they strong enough to admit their love and give themselves a chance to heal? Are they able to let their love conquer the darkness and be happy?
Publisher’s note: This book is intended for adults only. It contains elements of BDSM, explicit sexual scenes, and adult language. If any of these themes offend you, please do not purchase.
*** Currently available exclusively at Amazon ***
Razer Willis grimaced as Phillip continued taking picture after picture. “Like this?” He offered another pose as his calf muscles began to spasm.
“Don’t be an ass. I pay you very well for the limited work you do. Shut up and do as they say, strike a pose.”
He didn’t hate modeling, not given the money. However, he was weary from posing like some warrior God for a damn provocative ad for vodka of all things. Granted, the gig paid well and would cover his expenses for the month, which was something he desperately needed. Being out of work for almost a year, modeling kept Razer from being homeless given that marketing positions were tough to come by these days.
"Just a few more and we're done, honey," Phillip said as he changed the angle of the light and inched closer. "Spread your legs for me. I wanna see that delicious cock of yours."
Fighting a nasty retort, Razer opened his legs and placed his hands on his hips. He tipped his head toward the light as he’d done several times and held the stance, adopting the look of a hungry beast stalking his prey.
“Jesus Christ. You have to do better than that. I can get another model.”
Swallowing hard, he clenched his fists. While the Neanderthal shoot was demeaning as well as infuriating, the photographer's overt flirting was really driving him close to the edge. Phillip Kruger was the hottest photographer in the business and was sought after by many of the most coveted models gracing covers. The heavy set older German made sure Razer knew he wanted more than something professional. The wretched part about the realization was that he knew Phillip would call him again after obtaining additional shoots, but only if Razer allowed the guy to fuck him in the ass.
"You need me to suck that hot stick of yours and make you hard?" Licking his lips loudly, Phillip knelt between Razer's legs and took a close-up shot of Razer’s shaft and balls. “Do you understand what I’m saying or are you too stupid?”
“I’m not stupid!” You mother fucking asshole.
“Then act like a professional,” Phillip said as he narrowed his eyes, looking up and down the length of his model.
Razer resisted the urge to strike him. Instead, he wrapped his hand around his flaccid dick and closed his eyes, imaging a tall golden haired blond ready to suck him off. "I'll do it." Stroking his shaft all the way to the base, he squeezed his balls, relishing in the pain.
"That's beautiful, baby. I like that. Keep it up," Phillip cooed as he continued shooting. "I love seeing you masturbate. Turns me the hell on."
Makes me sick. Razer envisioned Blake, his sometimes lover and best friend, and groaned as he pumped his hand, his nails digging into his flesh. His breathing ragged, he tossed his head back and forth, fueled by Phillip's thick accent. As the photographer cooed and inched closer and closer, he began to sweat. Opening his eyes, he glared down at the man who remained on his knees leering at him, his eyes dancing with lust.
"While I'd love to see you come, I need the shot. Move your hand away," the photographer commanded.
Razer nodded and lifted his hand, darting his eyes across Phillip's face. He changed his position, remaining hard and hungry. Desperate to come, his body shook needing relief and there was no doubt Phillip sensed his condition.
"Perfect. You're so damn sexy to look at."
“Are we finished?”
Instead of answering, he set the camera down on a small side table. He slowly rose to his feet and closed the distance between them. Sliding his hand down Razer's chest, the man toyed with his model’s chest, flicking his finger across Razer's nipple. "Finished?”
“Yes, so I can leave here,” Razer said. He knew the tone of his voice held attitude. He wasn’t certain he could take anymore bullshit.
“Leave? So soon? Why don’t you allow me to give you some satisfaction for your good work?" The words dripping with innuendos, he twisted Razer's nipple between his thumb and forefinger until Razer hissed. "I know how you enjoy a touch of pain with your pleasure. Don't you, boy? I know exactly what you like. You need a good master to train you. Would you like to be my permanent boy?"
Shivering, Razer sucked in his breath as Phillip's other hand moved down and cupped Razer's crotch. He allowed the moment of intimacy, telling himself this was normal in the world of high priced modeling and that he should get over his concerns. Pursing his lips, he fought his demons, his heart thumping in his chest. He could do this. The man simply wanted to give him a blowjob. Right? This would never happen again.
"I see you like my touch. Seriously, I'd enjoy turning you into my boy toy while I help mold you into a star. Would you like that?" Philip stated as he leaned in and licked across the seam of Razer's mouth. "God, you taste sweet." Stroking him in long, even pumps, Phillip chuckled as he moved to Razer's other nipple, pinching and squeezing. "Pain. You like pain.”
Phillip exhaled, his eyes cold and unblinking. “You will if I say you will. Now be a good boy and shut up. Understand?”
Hate. He was learning to hate. “Fine.”
“See? I knew you could behave.” Phillip took a step back as he adjusted the collar of his shirt. “Now. We start again. Shall we?”
Razer hesitated before nodding. This would be over soon enough.
“Perfect. Let me suck you. My tongue will feel so good. I want to suck your juicy cock and have your cum slide down my throat. Is that something you can handle? Of course, you can."
Unable to say anything, Razer turned his head, willing his nerves to settle. He certainly loved the taste of men and to have his dick sucked but this was sick.
"Good boy. I'll make certain that you have a little extra in your paycheck and perhaps we'll set up more work for you next week. I have some clients that will flip for your beauty. There's nothing quite like a sexy raven haired hunk of a man to boil my clients' blood. You know you could sell millions with those green eyes of yours." Capturing Razer's mouth, he pressed his tongue inside as he pumped Razer's cock.
He groaned and imagined another time and place, humiliated that he craved relief so badly. As the echo of his heart roared into his ears, he broke the kiss, palming Phillip's chest as he panted.
"I see you're hungry. I love that in my men."
“I don’t belong to you,” Razer said.
“Hmmm. We might have to see about that.”
“What does that mean?”
Winking, the photographer gave a bright smile. “If I were to own you, then you’d have all the finer things in life. A sports car in red, your favorite color. A condo with the rent paid. Clothes. You’d dine at the best restaurants, drink the wine you crave.”
“Let me guess. All I have to give you is my soul. Right?” Over my dead ass body.
“Think of my offer as a permanent job.” He blew a kiss.
“No. Never,” Razer managed.
He snickered. “This is a one-time offer so you should think carefully, but I’m digressing. You need relief. I can see just how much.” As he dropped to his knees, Phillip purred and breathed a swath of hot air across Razer's swollen erection. "You're going to be so damn good to eat." He took a single finger, rubbing the tip and the length of Razer's cock until the shaft twitched. Darting out his tongue, he sliced it across Razer’s cockhead before easing back and gazing into Razer's eyes. "You make this old man want to fuck you hard. Can you imagine how damn good it'll feel as I drive my dick into your sweet ass?"
Razer began shaking and he clenched his eyes shut. Phillip chuckled and took the head of Razer's cock into his mouth, sliding his tongue around in lazy circles while he gripped Razer's balls, squeezing with just enough pressure. Razer threw his head back and roared, the intensity of Phillip's mouth and hands was both scintillating and disgusting . Think of the money. Think of what it'll mean for your future. This is just sex. It's just… Did the asshole really think he’d make a deal?
"That's it. Yes, you're one hot fuck and I'm going to enjoy taming you," Phillip exclaimed before he wrapped his hands around Razer's thighs, cupping his ass and thrusting Razer's shaft into the back of his throat.
"Ah!" Dazzling sensations rushed Razer's body, sending a series of white-hot jolts dancing across his skin. Squeezing his eyes, trying to take himself anywhere but here, suddenly the insanity of his act flashed through Razer's mind. He didn't want this. This man was not his lover and barely a friend. Hell, he could no longer lie to himself. The man was a horrible representation of everything he hated and exactly what he'd succumbed to so many years ago. And it had nearly destroyed him. "No."
Phillip clamped his hands down on Razer's ass cheeks, forcefully driving Razer's shaft into the deep recesses of his mouth.
"No!" More insistent, Razer pushed at Phillip's shoulders trying to jerk free. "I. Don't. Want. This!"
The photographer’s grip tightened as his mouth clamped over Razer’s dick, sucking as he swirled his tongue in frantic motions. Grunting and growling, he bobbed his head with enough force he yanked Razer's tense body forward and backward.
"I said no!" Giving Phillip a long, hard shove, Razer stumbled backward, slamming into a set of lights. As the entire cluster of equipment tumbled to the floor, smashing hard against the hardwood floor, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. After counting to five he glared down at the disheveled man. "I said no."
"You whore!" Phillip dragged his body to his feet and held out his arm, a finger pointing toward Razer’s face. "Get the fuck out of here."
Breathless, he grabbed his clothes and yanked them on, embarrassed and horrified at not only his impetuous behavior but what would come next. Phillip could make or break a model and Razer knew damn good and well he was toast. Work would be dried up before he left the building.
"You fucking kids are all alike. You think you can come here and preen and show off your naked bodies and expect to be paid for what, looking pretty?" Phillip strode to his desk and grabbed a book, forcing the pages open. Grabbing a pen, he wrote furiously. "I'll tell you one thing, pretty boy. You'll never work in modeling again unless it’s for a Sears catalog. Given the state of how I hear your bank account looks, you'll be coming to me in about a month begging for my forgiveness and for my cock. But you know what? You won't get a damn thing." Ripping off a check, Phillip held it out and glared at Razer. "Your pay for the job."
Razer tucked in his shirt and zipped his jeans. Keeping his eyes pinned on the furious man, he pulled on his boots and brushed his hands through his hair. A model he could be but he refused to be a whore. Gathering what was left of his dignity, he walked forward and grabbed the check out of Phillip's hand, stuffing it into his pocket.
Phillip laughed and folded his arms. "You don't even know if I stiffed you. Interesting. Well, I'll tell you when the proofs are ready. Now get the fuck out of here. Breathe a word of this and I’ll make you suffer. Am I clear?"
Hesitating, he turned and stood at his full height.
“Am I?” The man’s voice echoed in the room.
Nodding, Razer opened his mouth to apologize but just shook his head instead. He had nothing to apologize for. Throwing his shoulders back, he sauntered toward the door, swaying his hips as a brazen tease. The asshole didn't deserve the likes of him or his talent. As he closed the door, the sound of something glass shattering against a wall forced him to jump.
Razer slumped against the outside wall and cringed. "What the fuck did I just do?"
Rage coursed through Razer's body and he took out his anger and shame on his car and the road, driving at speeds in excess of eighty miles per hour. The hour was late, he was exhausted and the mother fucking jerk had stiffed him out of two hundred dollars. While he longed to stop at a bar and drown his sorrows, he knew nothing good would come of wallowing in self-pity given his piss poor mood. He’d likely pick a fight with anyone who looked at him cross-eyed. Besides, he had a tentative date with Blake. While he certainly wasn't in the mood for chit chat, Blake knew his dark moods and would give him space while sharing in his need for something hard.
Chuckling, he stopped at the corner liquor store before traveling the rest of the way. He was in the mood for tequila. At least his paycheck could afford a tall bottle. Exhaling, he adjusted his cock, realizing his hunger was tremendous. Why? Because the ugly man turned you on? Damn it all to hell. Slamming his hand against the steering wheel, he swallowed hard as he pulled into his driveway. Why the hell couldn't he find a real job? He couldn't believe that with all his connections he was still unemployed. The last full paycheck had almost been a year ago.
He climbed out of his beloved Miata wondering whether he was going to have to sell his prized possession at auction. He tugged the check from the modeling gig from his pocket, eyeing the amount as he leaned against the driver's door. The dollars would get him by for a little while anyway. He stuffed the slip of paper into his pocket before heading inside. There was no need for Blake to learn about the ugly details, yet Razer would lose everything within the span of two months without securing a job.
Opening the door, he smiled, pleased Blake hadn't waited for his call. Blake Myers had been his best friend and on again off again lover for the last several years. They both understood there was nothing but warmth and sex between them, but the relationship was safe and offered pleasure on lonely nights for each man.
"You're late," Blake stated, grinning until he gazed at Razer's face. “Whoa. You okay?”
“Fine. Perfect.” He almost slammed the bag on top of the table.
"Right. I know that look. What's wrong?" Reaching into a cabinet, he pulled out two glasses.
"Why do you think anything's wrong?" Razer yanked out the tequila and twisted the cap, feeling like guzzling the liquor straight from the bottle instead of using a glass.
"Because you stopped at the liquor store when you have a cabinet full of liquor here." Plopping ice into the glasses, Blake pushed them toward Razer.
Razer chuckled. "Long day."
"Uh. Huh. So, how was the shoot?"
"Okay, I guess."
"Right. Let's try lying in another language. The old bastard come on to you?"
"Yeah and I turned him down." Shrugging, he poured heavy amounts of the pale amber liquid into both glasses. As he set the bottle down, he realized his hands were shaking. "Don't think I'll be doing any more modeling."
"What? Oh, come on. This isn't the fifties."
"No, but the man has connections. I'm ruined." Razer gulped half his glass in one long pull.
"Asshole. Look, you'll find something else. Fuck ’em." Blake moved around the kitchen island and rubbed his hand across Razer's face.
Razer sighed and tilted his head, nuzzling into Blake’s hand. "Not that pays the bills. What am I gonna do, sell my freaking art?"
"Your art work is incredible. I have no idea why you haven't had a show yet," Blake admonished.
"Because you need connections and evidently I have none." Razer clenched his eyes shut, his heart thumping. It wasn't like him to whine about anything but he was dead tired from interviews and rejections. While painting and writing music kept his mind from falling into the pit of hell, it was also reminding him he wasn't good at either thing. “I have no doubt my name is akin to the Devil reincarnate. You know how people talk in this town.”
“Oh, come on. He can’t have that much influence.”
“So, you want to make a bet?” he shouted then groaned and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take this out on you. I’m just pissed.” A full minute passed by.
“I understand.” Blake jerked the glass out of his hand and set both down on the counter before grabbing Razer's chin and shaking his head. "You're a wonderful man, a fantastic artist, excellent in business and damn sexy. Fuck the rest of the world."
"Then why doesn't anyone want me?"
“Time. Keep painting. Keep applying for jobs. Something will break.”
“As if luck will come my way.”
Shrugging, Blake yanked Razer's body to his. "You're incorrigible. Let it go. Tonight, we enjoy. Tomorrow, we crush the rest of the world." Crushing Razer's mouth, he wrapped his arm around Razer's waist and pulled him into the heat of his body, pressing his tongue inside his lover’s mouth.
Razer shivered from the sensations rushing his body. He trusted this man with his sex and his life and Blake was one of the few men that knew his secret. He ground his cock against Blake's hips, moving in long, luxurious motions as every part of his body tingled, needing relief from the angst that he'd carried with him for days.
Breaking the kiss, Blake inhaled deeply and darted out his tongue, encircling Razer's lips. "You smell damn good." Nipping his bottom lip playfully, he issued a slight smile and moved away, giving Razer a seductive glance. Grabbing his glass, he took a long swill. "Music?"
Razer instantly felt better. Crush the world tomorrow. The thought was riveting. "Sure. Why are you here by the way?" He watched his lover walk into the living room and eyed fresh ingredients on the counter. Blake loved to cook but they usually made dinner at his house instead of Razer's. "I thought you weren't sure you could get out of work."
The lilting sounds of Ottmar Liebert flowed throughout the townhouse as Blake sauntered back into the kitchen. "I had a meeting with my boss today."
He lifted his eyebrow. "Uh-oh. What does that mean?" Working as a high-powered attorney in one of the best firms in Atlanta, Blake had a six-figure salary and excellent benefits. Unfortunately, Razer could tell by the look in Blake's eyes that something was wrong.
"Let's go out on the balcony," Blake suggested. His words were stilted.
Razer trailed him outside where they stood gazing across the landscaped back. His townhouse had a dazzling view of the pool and at the hour the water glimmered in the full moon. "What is it? You can tell me anything." The serious look on his lover’s face was disconcerting. “What? Come on.”
Blake sighed and gripped the iron railing. He sucked in his breath and exhaled slowly before speaking. "My boss offered me a promotion."
"You don't understand. A promotion means I have to move."
Blake turned slowly and gazed into Razer's eyes. "Los Angeles. I’ll have a corner office and a full staff to help. I’ll even have a fancy car."
While the news was startling, they both knew a significant change was bound to happen in his career sooner or later. Mahoney, Trevillian and Parker was blazing a trail. Considered to be one of the most influential law firms working with artists and entertainers, Los Angeles was a given. "That's wonderful, Blake. This is what you've always wanted." His mind drifted to Phillip and the offer of a hot red sports car. He shook the ugly thought away.
"Yeah, but accepting means I’ll have to leave you, unless you want to come. You know,” he whispered, as he pressed his hand against Razer’s chest. “you'd do great modeling there. Think about all the connections I'll have. It's perfect, man.”
Razer shifted, taking a step back.
“Why didn’t I think of that? You can live with me until you find… What? What did I say?"
Razer closed his eyes, hearing the same ugly words Philip had said and groaned. "You know Los Angeles and I won't fit, besides, I, well, we aren’t that way."
“That way? What does that mean?”
“I’m not into cooking and cleaning. I don’t want to be your house boy!”
“Wow. That’s just shitty,” Blake said quietly.
Razer shot a look at him and glanced over the railing. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be a burden. I need to find my own way.”
Blake let out a deep breath. "I guess there's something in the back of my mind that keeps thinking we can fall madly in love with each other. We have passion and friendship and everything that makes a great relationship."
Razer inched forward and lightly touched Blake's face. "Except love. We've been through this before."
“We can try. We haven’t up until now.”
“You don’t try at love. You either fall in love with someone or you don’t.” While he hated the words, the realization was very clear to him.
Blake grabbed Razer's hand and kissed his fingers, drawing his index finger inside of his mouth, sucking as he gazed into Razer's eyes.
“Don’t. We should talk.”
“Not now.” He eased his hand down Razer’s chest, stroking his groin.
Razer shivered as his cock stirred. Blake could turn him on instantly. With his long blond locks and dazzling smile, the man was the sexiest man he'd ever been to bed with. "You keep doing that and we won't make dinner."
Blake removed his finger, allowing the pop to permeate the air as he blazed a trail down Razer's body. "Food is highly over rated unless you mean your sweet cum sliding down my throat."
"Fuck, you know how to turn me on." Razer used the flat of his hand to caress Blake's chest, relishing the feel of his chiseled muscles, kneading until his hunger forced him to inch down. Toying with the waistband of Blake's jeans, he slid his finger inside and touched the tip of Blake's cock. "Teasing me with no underwear?"
"Just the way you like my attire. Dinner or me?"
Razer narrowed his eyes before setting his glass down. "How about both?" While he knew a few of his neighbors could see his actions on the second story balcony, the thrill remained and as he kissed Blake he sighed, excitement roaring through him.
Blake moaned as Razer broke the kiss. He fumbled to set his glass down on the table, barely pushing the dense crystal past the slick edge. "Suck me."
Chuckling, he dropped to his knees and pushed Blake hard against the iron railing. As he unfastened Blake's jeans, slowly lowering the zipper, he pressed his face into his lover’s groin, inhaling the musky scent of his sex. There was nothing he enjoyed better than having a man's dick in his mouth, sucking as he writhed in pleasure. There was no top or bottom in their relationship as Blake wasn't into the concept and Razer was timid at suggesting anything kinky. Razer's past kept him from enjoying anything except basic vanilla sex, but lately he hungered for more and he sensed Blake knew of his desires. Tonight however, Razer felt like being wild and crazy.
"I like it when you want me so damn much," Blake whispered as he gripped the railing.
Razer moaned as he yanked down Blake's pants. As his lover's cock sprang free, he took in the throbbing erection. He slid a finger down the length of Blake's shaft until he reached his balls. Circling first one and then the other, he tipped his head and gazed into Blake's eyes. "You want me to suck you?"
Toying with him, Razer slid his tongue across the sensitive slit as Blake bucked. Cupping his balls, he squeezed, rolling the tender sacs in his fingers as Razer lowered his head and engulfed Blake's cockhead in his mouth, rolling his tongue in slow and deliberate circles.
"Fuck! You're so damn good at this!" Blake tossed his head back and allowed a strangled cry to filter into the night air.
Encouraged, Razer took Blake's dick down an inch at a time as he stroked the base, gripping and pumping as he swirled his tongue back and forth. Tonight, he was hungrier than he could ever imagine.
He jerked away from the railing and impaled Razer's mouth with his cock. As he grabbed Razer’s head, entwining his fingers in Razer's long strands, he lowered his head. "I'm going to fuck your mouth hard. Can you handle it?"
Growling his answer, Razer relaxed his throat muscles and took Blake's shaft until the tip hit his throat, forcing him to gag. Swallowing and using his strong jaw muscles, he squeezed tightly, clenching around Blake's swollen erection like a tight vice. Crawling further between Blake's legs, Razer crouched as Blake took control, tugging his lover’s head up and down his throbbing muscle until Blake simply held his lover.
"That's it. Take all of me. Swallow me whole. God, you're so fucking hot," Blake muttered and pulled Razer's head, lifting it slowly, pulling his cock almost all the way out of Razer's mouth. "You want more?"
"Mmmm." Razer reached around Blake's massive thighs and gripped his buttocks, sliding his fingers up and down the crack of his ass.
Blake shifted, his breath becoming rattled as his body quaked before he pumped into Razer's mouth, using the strength of his legs to drive into the back of his throat. "Yes."
Razer's legs trembled and he parted Blake's ass cheeks, rubbing the tip of his finger around Blake's dark hole. As he darted the tip of his index finger inside, Blake clenched his ass muscles and groaned.
"God, I won't be able to… to… shit!"
Razer pushed his finger further inside Blake's dark hole, longing to have his cock buried there. Sliding further, he hit the tight ring of muscle and pushed past, his efforts rewarded with a single howl.
"Ah!" Blake stopped short and panted as he held Razer's head.
Blake's cock filled his mouth, he closed his eyes and inserted a second finger in Blake's ass. Adrenaline flowing, Razer flexed his fingers. He knew his lover was close to coming and he wanted nothing more than for Blake's tangy juice to slide down the back of his throat.
"I can't hold it. I can't." Blake sighed, his voice barely a whisper. Pumping faster into Razer's mouth, his legs shook as he struggled to hold on. When he lost his grip, he reached back for the railing, barely able to grab hold.
Razer continued his actions, thrusting into his ass as his pulse raced. Nothing had ever felt so damn good.
"Oh! Oh!" He jutted his hips forward, thrusting his cock into Razer's mouth as he erupted, sending hot spurts into Razer's mouth.
Razer held him, his fingers buried inside Blake's asshole as he swallowed, savoring Blake's sweet cum.
"Sweet Jesus!" he roared as his body bucked.
Easing back, he dragged the tip of his finger around Blake’s cockhead.
Blake pressed the back of his hand across his mouth and groaned. "You're so fucking good." Falling back against the railing, he chuckled and threw his head back.
Razer licked his lips and gazed up at his lover. "I'm not done with you yet."
"Who said I was done with you?"
"Hold on now. You’re not in charge." Yanking Blake's body around in one swift motion, Razer forced his waist over the railing and yanked his legs as far apart as the dense material would allow before using both hands to open Blake's ass cheeks. "Another taste before dinner." Burying his face into Blake's ass, he slipped his tongue inside his dark hole, peppering the forbidden entrance with licks.
Arching his back, Blake let out a long breath and dropped his head. "God, I'm gonna miss this."
All he could think about was how alone he was going to be.
*** Currently available exclusively at Amazon ***