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Reese Gamble is a forty-year-old single woman in a town of settled couples in Johnson City. Not quite fitting in, she wears her mask to protect herself. To the outside world, she's quite successful and happy. On the inside, though, her life is missing something, and she’s not sure she will ever find it.
Jason Cording is a successful, strong business man from Dallas, who sees right through Reese’s mask on the night they meet for the first time. Jason sees Reese as a strong independent woman, but he also sees a woman with vulnerabilities and insecurities, a woman he very much wants to get to know better and show how strong and sexy she truly is.
A dangerous situation, Reese's insecurities, and Jason's unwillingness to face the pain of a past loss threaten the happiness the two discover in one another. Can Reese trust herself enough to give Jason a chance? Is Jason strong enough to show Reese what she has been missing in her life? Can they trust each other enough to find the love they both have always sought?
Publisher’s Note: This suspenseful romance includes elements of power exchange, explicit scenes, and adult language. If any of these elements offend you, please do not purchase.
*** Currently available eclusively at Amazon ***
Reese spent the next several hours thinking, analyzing, going over all the reasons this relationship she was about to consider would never work. She was not in Jason’s league. He will tire of her. She was not a beautiful young girl. Her confidence was thin. She was sexually inexperienced for someone like him.
And what about him? Jason was clearly controlling. He was overbearing. He will want to be in charge. Yes, she dreamed of a man like that, but now that it was real, what would that look like? Could she handle that? And Reese had read enough erotic romance to know those kinds of guys want control and excitement in the bedroom. How would someone with her limited experience ever satisfy him?
So many reasons to stay home tonight and heat up a fat-free, carb-free, taste-free, frozen dinner, and cry herself to sleep. And yet, she wanted to see him so badly she physically felt it. She desperately wanted to hear his voice, feel the power he exuded, look in to those dark brown eyes.
He knew her in ways she did not even know herself, and she felt so connected to him, so ready to jump in and trust him completely. This was foolish and irresponsible. There was no reason to believe she could trust him, but this was not about reason. She just somehow knew.
It was six-thirty, and she had decided. She was going to dinner and going with an open mind. If nothing else, she had made a new friend. She really liked Jason as a person. It was time to take a chance and pray she didn’t look silly when it was all over.
Reese jumped in the shower, wanting to start the night off clean and fresh. She blew her hair dry, took a little extra time with her makeup, and slipped into a casual dress, just short enough to be fun and on trend without looking like a teenager. She grabbed her favorite spikey boots to complete the look and was ready to go as the doorbell rang at six-twenty. He was early. Of course, he was. This was a man who had probably never been late a day in his life.
Reese took a deep breath, smiled, and opened the door. Jason looked absolutely incredible. He, too, showered, hair still a little wet in that sexy way men can do, and he wore jeans which fit like a glove, a buttoned-down shirt, topped with a striped sports coat. He was clean-shaven, and looked and smelled wonderful. And his face… was not smiling. In fact, he looked at her seriously, a frown besmirching his beautiful face.
“What are you doing? You never open the door without asking who it is! I can be anyone. This is very basic personal safety here,” he said clearly agitated.
Reese smiled. Nice greeting. He needed to lighten up on the safety, but that probably would not happen. “Jason, I knew it was you. I knew you would be early. Relax. And I’m ready if you are.”
He seemed to calm somewhat but was not quite ready to leave the topic. “I’m not early. If you’re on time, you’re late. So, ten minutes early is on time- not early.” What? “Anyway, you didn’t know it was me, you assumed it was me,” he said as he grabbed her hand and led her onto the front porch, pulling her door closed. “Just do me a favor and ask from now on. I can’t handle lax security,” he said seriously.
“Yes, I will ask. Will that put your mind at ease?”
Jason opened the door to his black Escalade, nice, and helped her get seated, as he grumbled to himself. How could she open her front door without checking? He climbed in, determined to leave the security issues at home and not start the evening on a sour note. Jason asked if she liked sushi, and she excitedly answered that she did. It was her favorite food. He looked pleased, as well, and they headed in the direction of Azuki’s, a very good sushi bar in town.
As they drove to the restaurant, both Reese and Jason seemed to be quietly reflecting, considering how two people, who had not known each other even a week ago, were now so clearly connected. Tonight’s dinner was their first official date, yet they were already drawn to each other in a guttural way. Reese, a strong, independent woman and a survivor by nature, was ready to jump into a very different type of relationship with a man she met a week ago at a charity dinner. She still couldn’t believe it!
Reese smiled as she remembered. She tried to get out of the charity dinner last Saturday night, and yet as a real estate agent, she knew it was part of her job to be present at these events. She talked herself into going, knowing her job demanded it of her, and as a professional and over achiever, that sense of obligation propelled her forward. She was now very glad she decided to go. She felt Jason’s presence that night before she saw him, a strange connection between two people who had never met. He radiated strength, and she was drawn into his powerful presence immediately. Reese’s insecurities flared at the initial greeting, and she decided to keep her distance and avoid being toyed with by the handsome stranger, but Jason refused to cooperate. He immediately joined her at her table, and spent the rest of the night making small talk, demonstrating his impeccable manners and knowledge of fine wine, and winning Reese’s attention and forcing her insecurities back where they belonged.
Jason was polite, smart, and fun to talk to, and Reese found herself pulled into the aura that seemed to surround him. She tried to protect herself. She was a 40-year-old woman, reasonably attractive, and interesting, she thought, but had never found her true love and rarely dated at all. Jason, on the other hand, was gorgeous, strong, and confident, surely very experienced, the type of man she never thought would be interested in her, and yet he was very interested.
The two agreed to meet for coffee early next week to discuss how Reese could help Jason, who owned a high-end security company with his three business partners, locate additional office space. Jason’s business, which appeared to be quite successful if his taste in clothes and wine were any indication, was based in Dallas, and they were opening a satellite office in Johnson City to house their corporate business and technology team. That business meeting quickly turned into more. The sexual tension was obvious, his bossy-but-nice attitude, which she teased him about, was quite evident, and after a stern lecture on why she needed to have more confidence in herself, she agreed to have dinner with him. And here they were. Ready to engage in, who knows what, but ready nonetheless.
Dinner was fun and relaxed, just two people who were comfortable with one another sharing sushi. Jason knew his sushi and ordered tons of different rolls and sashimi as well as a bottle of wine he assured her went beautifully with the fish. Jason, who had ordered her wine at the charity dinner, ordered for them both again. She knew she was supposed to be offended, but it felt nice. He discussed the choices with her ahead of time and ordered something they both enjoyed. The rolls and sashimi were amazing, and he picked the perfect wine. Hard to argue with success.
Jason and Reese talked about favorite activities, family, his time in the Marines, and her childhood. Jason was very close to his parents and seemed to understand how painful a loss it was when her parents were sick and later when they passed. He understood the pain she felt, still felt, something most people could not grasp. She often avoided talking about her parents, but she was so comfortable discussing them with Jason.
“I know it happened years ago, but I still feel that loss. I loved them so deeply. Losing them, I lost part of myself. Maybe it’s being an only child, I don’t know,” she said quietly, looking away.
Jason reached across the table and took her hand, squeezing it in understanding as she looked back to him. “Of course, you did. People tell you it gets better, but it doesn’t. Not really. You just learn to work around it,” he said with the understanding that only someone who has felt deep loss can appreciate. He looked at her for just a second extra and then looked away and released her hand.
“My sister, Kallie, and I were always super close. She was five years younger than me, so I always was the over-protective older brother,” he said with an embarrassed smile. “She was such a good kid, where I was the more rambunctious one. She was kind, smart, and saw the world through rose-colored glasses. She always tried to do the right thing, while I was always pushing boundaries. My poor dad to this day says God sent Kallie to them to balance out me and my shenanigans. But if she ever did get into trouble, I always tried to lobby her out of punishment. One time when she was really in trouble, probably the only time, I tried to take her spanking, claiming it was my fault for not watching her more closely.”
Jason smiled such a sad smile and leaned back in his chair, remembering the moment as if it was yesterday. The remembering was so painful, which was why he didn’t do it. He loved Kallie so much. But he never talked about her. Never. His reluctance was a source of contention between him and his parents. But Reese was so open about her loss, and she understood. She was also so kind, not in a “good manners” kind of way, but in a real way, as if she truly wanted him to feel better. Before he knew it, he had shared his most personal feelings, those he kept locked away for many years.
“I protected her from the day she was born, and then one day, I couldn’t protect her. She was in college. She had not been feeling well, apparently, for several weeks I found out later. She ended up at the doctor’s office near campus. She called my mom, who drove up to be with her at the doctor. A week later she was diagnosed with cancer.” Jason’s voice reeked of pain and loss. Reese could feel it from across the table. It was a tangible thing. Jason seemed to be in physical pain, his body clenching and releasing, trying to find relief.
“She was only nineteen. Nobody nineteen-years-old should ever be diagnosed with cancer. I came back home from overseas on emergency leave, and a month later, we buried her, my baby sister,” he said so quietly Reese strained to hear him.
“I always protected her. If I had been there, I would have picked her up myself and taken her to the doctor when she first started feeling bad. I would not have let her blow it off. I would have carried her there myself if I had to, and she would have listened to me. She always did. But I wasn’t there. I was overseas, not there when she needed me. And then she was gone. Maybe that’s where my need to protect people I care about comes from. Knowing I didn’t protect her. I couldn’t protect her when she needed me the most. It still haunts me,” Jason confessed.
They both sat so still, neither moving, barely breathing, everyone else in the restaurant had disappeared, and they sat there alone in excruciating pain. These two people, so different, each sharing one another’s brutal, searing pain. Reese reached out and placed her small hand in his.
“I’m so sorry. As you said, the pain never goes away really, does it? We’ll always have it inside us. I would tell you there’s no way this is your fault and you can’t protect someone from cancer, but I also know it won’t change how you feel,” Reese said.
Jason stared at her. She was the first person not to tell him he should not feel bad. Cancer was a bad thing that happens to good people sometimes, he had been told often. He should move on. How many times had he heard that? But Reese listened, and she understood. And she acknowledged that feelings were never right or wrong. They just were.
He looked at her sweet, understanding face. Reese smiled back and continued. “You are absolutely right, though. We survive, we cope, we learn to work around the pain. We find a special place to store it in our hearts, so we can survive each day. And, we treasure the special times we shared with them,” she smiled warmly at him with tears pooling in her eyes. Jason looked at her and tried to smile, but he couldn’t. He didn’t have that comfort and peace she had found.
“I haven’t been very good at that. I don’t remember and treasure those moments. I block them, to avoid the pain,” Jason confessed more to himself than anyone else. He stared at her. Admitting out loud that he wouldn’t even discuss his sister was hard to do, but he had just done it. She was not judging him. She just stared back, sharing the same pain and trying to support him.
He took a second and steered the conversation back to something they could both grab on to. “We both experienced the worst kind of pain. But we both survived, and that’s something we can be proud of and build on,” he said as much to himself as to her, trying to get the mood back up at the table.
As hard as it was to talk about Kallie and as sad as it made him usually, he found some peace sitting here talking to this woman. And he was comfortable sharing things he had never shared. Reese was very special.
They smiled at each other, and Reese felt so close to this man at that moment. Feeling the need to pick up the mood, Jason looked for the waiter.
“Hey, let’s get the check and get out of here,” he urged. “I want us to have some time to talk privately.” And with that, he signaled for the waiter and the pain was pushed away, replaced by nervous anticipation for what he had planned next.
“I know it’s cold out, but I have a blanket in the car. You up for a trip to the park?” Jason asked as they made their way out of the restaurant, stuffed full of sushi and good wine.
“Sure, as long as you have a blanket. It is a little chilly,” Reese replied, looking forward to a walk in her favorite park.
Jason and Reese walked hand-in-hand through the park, talking more about their lives and their families. They both stayed away from talking about work, knowing Jason’s job was a sensitive topic as he tended to avoid it whenever it had come up in past conversations, although Jason did talk about the team and how close all of them were, especially the four owners. Reese couldn’t believe how comfortable she was becoming talking to Jason and how down to earth he was. She could not stop smiling as they meandered through the park like young lovers.
“It’s really beautiful here at night. I’ve never been here. What a view,” Jason offered.
“Yes, this is a popular spot day and night. There’s lots to see, it’s well lit, and it’s large enough that joggers and bikers aren’t on top of the walkers and children playing. Plenty of room for everyone.” Reese explained she came here often, just to think and enjoy the view.
They walked a little longer before Jason stopped and faced Reese.
“I really like you. I think you know that. I told you I want a relationship. How do you feel about that?”
Reese wanted to answer carefully, not give away too much. But she was so past that with this guy, and he would know if she did and call her on it. So, she rewarded his directness with her honesty.
“I guess I feel scared. But I also feel excited. I feel like we’ve known each other for so long, and it’s only been a few days. Once I got home this afternoon, I identified lots of reasons this won’t work, but I don’t care about any of that. I think I want to try. I just don’t want you to be disappointed in me. I don’t know if I’m what you really want.”
Jason felt some relief. Step one was done, and it had gone well. This next step would be much steeper and much more challenging.
“I know what I want, darlin’, and I know I want you. But, you may be the one who is disappointed in me. I may not be who you want. Let’s sit over by that tree and talk. This is a private conversation.”
Jason, who had been carrying what Reese thought was one blanket, actually carried two with him. He placed one on the ground for them to sit on and then wrapped the other around her shoulders to keep warm. Reese was becoming accustomed to his manners and thoughtfulness.
“You okay? Not too cold?” he asked with concern. Reese assured him she was fine and stared into his eyes. He clearly had something to say, and she was very nervous as to what that was. He seemed a little nervous too, or at least as nervous as Jason probably ever got.
“Reese, I need to be very upfront with you. I’m not one who likes to ease someone into a relationship. I’ve been there, done that, and I’ve matured enough to know that’s just another name for game playing. I think you know I’m a little overprotective and bossy. I’m sure you can tell I like to be in control. Well, it’s more than that.”
Jason took a deep breath and jumped right into the meat of it.
“I don’t just want to be in control. I need to be in control. I’m not controlling—there’s a difference. I don’t want to control you and manipulate you for my benefit or tell you how to live your life. But I do like to be in charge, and in the bedroom, I want total control.” Jason paused to let that sink in and gauge her reaction.
Reese just stared at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly open, shocked as much by what he was saying as the fact that he was saying it out loud in this little park where she would feed the birds and watch children play. She could not process all of it. She just kept listening. Jason noticed she had not jumped up and run for the hills yet, so he continued.
“Look, I’m not saying this very well. I usually meet people who are already in this lifestyle, so I have not had to explain it very often. Also, it’s usually a fun thing, we just play. This is different. You’re different,” he said with emotion.
Reese was still unable to move. Jason knew he needed to continue, or he would never get it out. He also knew that was not fair to her. He took another deep breath and began what might be the last thing he ever said to her, depending upon her reaction.
“I want you to know, I would never harm you, ever. I hope you can believe that, but my need for control in the bedroom is absolute. I’m a dominant. Do you know what that means?”
Reese was not sure if she could speak. A dominant! All of this felt like a dream, unreal but, she knew she trusted him for some reason. She also somehow knew he would not hurt her. She wanted to hear him out. She had grappled with feelings about wanting a man in control, at least sexually, for many years, never able to even fully acknowledge her feelings, certainly never act on them. She knew she needed to take in everything he was saying and figure it all out later, but it was getting harder and harder to do that as the conversation progressed.
“I’ve read books with doms and subs. I know what that means,” she said innocently, looking down.
Reese looked up and smiled bashfully and nodded. Jason smiled, too. Oh, Fifty Shades. What a game changer!
“Figures. That book opened lots of eyes, but you need to know, there’s a lot more to it than that. I’m no Christian. My need for control won’t morph into a softer, gentler Jason. I want to be up front about that.”
“I’ve read lots of other books after that. Books more about BDSM,” Reese said almost in defense of her naivety. She realized she sounded a little excited, too. She needed to talk less and listen more she scolded herself.
Jason worked hard to hide his smile. She was so cute trying to defend her very limited knowledge of his world, and without a doubt, she was at least a little interested.
“Good, then you’re not totally unfamiliar with this. But books are fantasy, and don’t always give the full picture. And this lifestyle is as different as the people who practice it. There’s no one fit for everyone. For me, control calms me. I know I can protect and cherish the one I’m with when I’m in charge, control all the factors. I feel this comfort and pride in knowing my sub is safe with me, and I can make sure she’s pleasured. It’s in no way a negative reflection on my sub. Nobody respects women more than I do, believe me, but the D/s dynamic brings me certainty, which also brings me peace,” Jason explained, shaking his head, frustrated he wasn’t verbalizing the dynamic adequately.
“Let me say it a different way. I’m not explaining this well. When I know I’m in charge, I can control the scene, control the pleasure, ensure we get to where we want to be. My pleasure comes from giving you pleasure, knowing I’m the one who gave it to you. You can’t imagine how I will feel when I get your absolute trust, when you fully submit to me. Maybe I’m being too optimistic, talking as if it’s a done deal, but I really want this to happen. Knowing you trust me enough to be vulnerable, to expose yourself so completely? That is the most precious thing in the world to me. I will always honor and respect it.”
Jason paused to try and read what Reese was thinking. He could see she was shocked, but she was not disgusted. That was a step in the right direction. For Reese’s part, his honesty was very refreshing and gave her the confidence to ask the questions she needed to ask without fear of judgement from him.
She was overwhelmed, but not turned away. She wanted to know more. “You have control, but what does that mean exactly? And I know about limits and safewords, so I always have an out, I guess?”
“We will definitely identify your limits and have a safeword, but that’s just procedural, just details we will work through. The dynamic is what I crave. The commitment to this lifestyle is what I need. The trust between us, which will develop even more as we move forward. That is what invades my soul and takes hold. It truly possesses me.”
Jason was so engaged at this point, so completely sure of himself and his lifestyle choices. It was comforting, Reese considered, that he had found himself. Maybe that was where some of his confidence stemmed from, she wondered. She was a little jealous.
“I want to dominate you sexually. I want to expose you to both pleasure and pain, because they are two sides of the same coin, baby. It’s sensual pain, something I can’t adequately describe to you; it’s something you will come to want from me. I am sure of it. I will never cause you to feel pain you can’t handle, but the discomfort heightens the pleasure. It’s part of the deal, but not in a bad way. And, oh, will I bring you pleasure, pleasure like you’ve never experienced, I promise you,” he said so seductively.
Jason leaned in, so close their noses almost touched. He placed his hand on her inner thigh, and she jumped, ever so slightly. He smiled, a hot, sexy smile and applied a little more pressure to his touch.
Jason wanted her so bad. She was made for this. She just didn’t know it yet. The way she was looking at him, expectantly, almost excited. She needed this as much as he did. And her effect on him? He was getting hard sitting across from, looking into those wide eyes.
“I will know your body better than you do. I will be able to make you come with my voice, with a look. You will hear my stern tone and your body will go on pleasure alert. Your pussy will clench when I walk in the door, and your clit will scream for my attention from across town, knowing I can make you wet with my fingers before you even know what happened. You will jump to obey my every command, knowing it will bring pure, carnal ecstasy. You will experience orgasms like you’ve never had before. You will soar to places that only exist in this new world I want to show you. Every time we’re together I will be focused on ensuring you have the most wonderful experience. That’s my role as a dom, your dom, I hope, and I’m very good at it.”
He leaned back a little, giving her some space. She immediately missed the closeness, and the spell was broken. She felt so safe as he spoke, so close to him, so desirable, as if they were the only two people in the whole world. None of the negative thoughts she had about herself existed. The slight change in their position, losing that intimacy, and she was back to feeling unsure and insecure. Was that the power of this lifestyle, of him, as her dom?
Reese was unsure what to say. She was a respectable forty-year-old woman. This was the stuff of books, not reality. Not in Johnson City! Home of the settled lifestyle! But she could not ignore how warm and tingly she felt inside as he spoke to her; could not dismiss the fact she wasn’t sure she could stand if she needed to, even now, and her panties were more than damp as her sex gushed when Jason used words like pussy and clit, words she could never even begin to think about saying herself. Her body betrayed her mind, and she had no idea what to say? What could she say?
“Reese, baby, I need to hear from you. I’ve done a lot of talking, but I see this concern on your face. I know it’s a lot to absorb, but you seem nervous, worried all-of-a-sudden. Are you scared I would ever really hurt you?”
No, she could not let him think that! She knew without a doubt he would take care of her. She was nervous about this revelation, but not because she was worried he would hurt her. She needed to be honest with him.
“Jason, I know I can trust you. I’m not sure why I know that, but I do. It is a lot to take in, and I don’t know exactly how I feel about all of it yet. When we first had coffee, and broached the subject of a relationship, we agreed to be honest with each other, and you have been completely up front with me. I owe you the same in return. It’s just so hard to talk about all of this. It’s embarrassing for me. But here goes; I have, sometimes, daydreamed about something like this. Books are fantasy, but they can be a girl’s best friend when she’s lonely.” Jason smiled and brushed a piece of her hair away from her face.
“But I don’t know how I feel about turning so much control over. I know my body responds to you. But will my mind let go and still feel safe? I don’t know. I know it did when you were explaining it to me, but you’re a lot… just a lot. A lot of everything, so intense. I don’t know if I can do it. But maybe I want to try, I don’t know yet.” Reese paused for just a second, realizing how much there was to consider and that she was sending all kinds of mixed signals. Also, she needed to make sure he knew what he could be getting into.
She needed to do this now, while she could, before he took over her body and soul.
“You don’t know me that well. The worry you see on my face is because I know you won’t want me when you see how I preform sexually. And then I’ll get hurt. I’ve only had vanilla sex.”
Jason smiled at that. Fifty Shades did change the lexicon among mainstream America about sex.
“My relationships in the past have been more a matter of convenience. They were not passionate or exciting. I’ve never really been in love, not passionate love that gets in your bones, and the sex has always been fine but very plain. I couldn’t elicit the type of response in my partners you are talking about. I’m just not that desirable or sexual,” she whispered, afraid to even say it out loud.
Jason was so pissed he could barely contain himself. Who were these jerks she was with before, such wimps they left her feeling as if their failings were her fault? That she was not desirable? If only he had five minutes with these losers. But now was the time to focus on Reese. He gently turned her shoulders so she was directly facing him, and reached down and grabbed both of her hands. He looked in those sweet eyes, eyes so filled with emotion and a little pain. This seemingly strong, confident, independent woman had so much hidden just under the surface, and he wanted to expose it all. Expose it for the crap that it was. He wanted her to know what he knew, which was that she was sexy, and strong, and beautiful.
“Darlin’, I can’t wait to show you how sexy you are. Rest assured, I had a very cold shower when I got home after our coffee date. You are very sexy and passionate and alluring in all the right ways. As for your past vanilla sex or plain sex or not that much sex, I don’t care. That’s a plus for me. I get to show you so much, teach you so many things. It will all be new to you, which brings me so much pleasure thinking about what I can open your eyes to,” Jason explained.
“It’s not fair for me to expect a woman to be inexperienced. I’m not that big of a hypocrite, but the fact that you are feeds my desire. It’s a bonus for me. And not just because of the physical pleasure we will both experience, but because I will get to watch you grow in confidence, watch you claim your body and your sexiness, see you become this confident, passionate woman, confidence that comes from deep inside, inner strength. Not a mask or a façade. I will be so honored to play a part in that,” he said as he raised her chin to look at him again. Oh, this girl so needed this.
“As for me being a lot, well, yeah, I am, and not always in a good way. But we will figure it out. I’ve been doing this a long time, and I can tell when someone has sub tendencies. Baby, I know this is for you. You will thrive once you let go a little. You so desperately need to share some of the burden with another person, unload some of the control and responsibility. You will feel so free, so open. A person can only handle so much. Once you let a little go, you will have room to take on even more things that help you grow, not things that weigh you down. You won’t be wasting capacity on things I can take care of for you.”
Jason knew, he truly knew, this was for her. He wanted it for her so badly, separate and apart from wanting it for himself. She was so special, and she deserved to be treated that way. But it had to be her decision.
“You need to decide for yourself if you want to try, but I hope you will really consider it. I will be shocked if this does not feel very natural to you very quickly. You won’t be alone. I will be with you the whole time, and we’ll do some give and take to help you get comfortable. We’ll take it slow, and I’ll get to explore every inch of your gorgeous body, and you will, too. You will start to see how amazing you are and how hot this body is. We’ll figure out what we both need- together,” he concluded with the warmest smile Reese had ever seen.
She didn’t know why but she wanted this, wanted to try. She was scared and nervous, but she was also convinced Jason was a special guy, and those didn’t come around all that often. He wouldn’t laugh at her inexperience or criticize her body. He would support and guide her. She might never find someone else like this. Maybe this was the time to put her toe in the water?
Jason could see she was coming around. He wanted to pounce, lock her into a decision, but that wouldn’t be fair.
“This is a big decision, Reese, and one I don’t want you to make tonight. Think about it. I will cook you dinner tomorrow night at my place, if you’re comfortable with that, and we can talk more. If you decide you would like to try, we can go over some of the details, limits and a safeword, and a little about what I expect. But we’ll ease in to it, take our time. I’ll answer any questions you have with total honesty. Nothing’s off the table, so ask me anything,” he assured her, which made Reese feel better immediately.
“I want you to give this a lot of thought, baby, but please, don’t let fear override everything else you feel. Allow your emotions in. Think about how you might feel to let go just a little. And, know this, the most important aspect of D/s, BDSM, whatever you want to call it, is that you have the power. You decide what you can and cannot live with and from those parameters, we build our relationship. Also, without your trust, your complete trust, I have no control, and I get no pleasure. You are the center of this whole thing. My control kicks in after you lay the ground work and establish what’s fair game.”
Yes, she had read that, but hearing it from Jason made it so real and gave her another layer of confidence. They would figure out the boundaries based on what she decided and then work within those boundaries. That seemed fair.
“I really hope you will give this a try, but if not, we will still have a wonderful dinner tomorrow night and remain special friends,” Jason said very convincingly. “In a short time, I have come to care for you very much. I need this type of sexual relationship. I know that about myself. But, our friendship doesn’t change, regardless of your decision. Don’t think you can get rid of me quite that easily,” Jason smiled as he tapped her nose with his index finger.
And with that, Reese’s mind was made up. She still needed to think through some things, but there was no doubt she needed this man in her life.
Jason was very kind and understanding after their talk in the park. He knew she had much to consider, and he realized she was on overload. He took her home after the park, walked her to the door, and gave her a goodnight kiss, very soft and gentle. He made sure she locked the door once she was inside, and then he was off. Reese knew she needed sleep, but it was not to be found.
Her mind reviewed over every word, every thought. This was a big decision. This was about more than exposing herself to an intensive sexual relationship. This was about letting go of control, something Reese had clung to all her adult life because she needed it to keep her life on track, safe from hurt and despair. Would giving some control to someone else be what initiated the derailing of her life? It was a real consideration.
This was also a big decision because moving forward would be a cosmic shift in how she approached and made decisions. Reese had always been reasonable, practical, responsible. She always thought through the options from every perspective. She made lists of pros and cons, and she considered every possible outcome. If she did that now, it was done. She would decline, wish him well, and move on. Sure, he said they would still be friends, but could she ever handle seeing him with another woman, giving that pleasure he so sensually described to someone else?
Reason said back away, leave this to someone younger, stronger, wilder. Reese read enough books to know these relationships were about power exchange. Reason said that’s a lose-lose for her. But this wasn’t about reason. It was about feelings. And that, to quote a great Texas phrase, was where the rubber meets the road. If she was fair to herself, she must make the decision based on feelings and desires, not a list of pros and cons. Once the decision was made, she could walk through the list of what she could and could not get comfortable with, but the big question was would she try this new sexual dynamic, engage in a power exchange? Her mind swirled, wondering if he really would take it slowly with her? Exhaustion finally won, and at 3:45, Reese fell off to sleep with thoughts of a hot, sexy dom leaning over her, ready to do untoward things.
That alarm must be stopped, Reese thought as she reached over to turn it off. It’s 7 a.m., and she was very tired. She was too old for this. She needed her beauty rest. She also needed to make money, so she better get her ass out of this comfortable bed and into the shower. Mr. Montoya, her new, very demanding client, was not a man who would understand if she was not prepared because she was up all night considering if she would allow a man to tie her up and have his way with her.
That thought woke her up. Reese reluctantly grabbed her phone to check her email before she jumped in the shower. There was a text from Jason.
“Hey, sweetie, good morning. Heading out for a run. I hope this text doesn’t wake you. Just wanted to tell you I’m looking forward to dinner tonight. How’s fish sound? I’ll grill! Much better griller than a chef. Call me when you wake.”
She read the text a few times, smiling each time. She really liked this guy she thought as she dialed his number, smiling when he answered and she heard his voice.
“Good morning, and man, you were up at 5:15 to run? What the hell is wrong with you? It’s dark then, which means it’s night still,” Reese teased.
“Half the day is gone by the time the rest of you civilians wake up. Wait, that’s dangerously close to the Army thing. Scratch that. I’m going with the early bird catches the worm, especially if the bird is running,” Jason teased right back.
Reese enjoyed this time with him, silly and lighthearted. “And who wants a worm anyway?”
“I’ve got your worm little girl, and you will definitely want it,” he growled in his sexiest dom voice and Reese almost dropped the phone.
They discussed dinner and times, and she decided to do the sides if he cooked the fish. “So, side dishes, any requests?”
“No, but I am issuing an order. You will come and bring nothing. This is my dinner for you. I’ve put you through enough the last few days don’t you think? I’ll figure out the sides, and they will be edible, I promise. You have bigger things to consider, as I recall.”
An order, already? This guy wasn’t about control only in the bedroom, that was for sure. Still, he was always thinking about her and that warmed her from the inside out.
“An order… hmm. You seem awfully confident I am coming.
“Oh, Ms. Gamble. I’m quite confident you will “come,” if you know what I mean. It’s just a matter of when.”
Reese held the phone so tight she was worried she might break it. And it wasn’t just her fingers squeezing the phone. She was clenching her legs as tightly as she could, her body already having decided she needed this.
“Oh, Mr. Cording. How you talk. I am a people pleaser by nature. And it’s very early. And I didn’t get much sleep since some guy sorta rocked my world with some big-time revelations and an even bigger request, so I’m going to obey that order and come and just bring me. I would offer to bring wine, but I get that you know wine better than me. But, don’t get used to this obeying thing! It’s just because I have to get my ass out of this bed and in the shower, so I don’t have time to debate right now. You know, I never used to be late before I met you?”
Jason was having fun. This looked very positive so far.
“Hmm. Rocked your world, baby? Oh, this is only the beginning. You haven’t come close to being ‘rocked’ yet. Now, as for your other comments: As I have mentioned to you before, on time is late. We’ll have to work on your promptness. A little Marine tough love should do the trick. How are you with naked pushups? Never mind, you will learn to love them or hate them; I don’t care. Either way, I’ll enjoy myself. And don’t tease me with temporary obedience. My little friend can only take so much and there are only so many cold showers a man can endure. Now get your sweet ass out of bed and in that shower. This is not a request. I will not be the cause of your lateness. Just now I’ll be thinking up suitable punishments for tardiness.”
Punishments! And uh, naked pushups? That’s freaking hot! I haven’t even said yes, Reese bristled, so why am I acting as if I have? Reese had to say something, but her mind and body were otherwise predisposed.
“Wow, that was a mouthful,” she said, her voice raspy and hoarse. “To avoid being late, this is to be continued. See you tonight.”
They both said their goodbyes and Reese jumped in the shower and had a serious talk with herself. Clearly, she had made the decision. She was going to give this a try. She needed to get some answers to what “this” was, in detail, but yeah, she was totally in. For the first time in her life, she was doing what felt good, consequences be damned. Please, God, please, she prayed. Don’t let this be a mistake.